I just saw a film called “My Old Ass” on Prime. It’s about a teenage girl meeting her future 39-year-old self during a hallucinating herbal session with her friends. The lady gave her valuable tips on her relationships and to moisturize well. It got me thinking what advice I would give to my teenage self. That would be another entry but for now I want to focus on aging. There are physical manifestations that I’m noticing on a regular basis. I feel that my hair is thinning, and its roots go gray fast. I might embrace the “gray hair, don’t care” motto soon. I started putting retinol on my face because Jen Garner said so. Recently, I had a medical checkup for my hip bone pain which was probably caused by the four-hour walking tours in October. It’s a good thing that I rested, and the pain subsided already. My food intake has now more fruits and veggies because it’s cheaper, healthier and my gut is happy.

I am never impressed with material possessions maybe because I don’t have a lot. Going abroad has been such an easy decision to make because I didn’t have any major item to tie me down to my home country except for Teret’s dogs which I love as my own. I used to collect books, DVD’s and accessories but as I grow older, I just stopped because there was not enough space, and it was getting expensive. I had to donate most of my books and the only stuff that had value to me were our family photos.

Internally, I am way more mellow now. I used to be impatient about things done my way, according to my plan. I am always in a hurry because I feel that time is wasted when you are on a pause or on a stop mode. The pandemic made me realized that in the blink of an eye, we could die just like that. We need to savor our space, our relationships and create memories while we are still here.

I am surrounded by an amazing family and women who are domestic goddesses. Household chores are still a pain as I grow older, but cooking has been my most pleasant task. People close to me still don’t think I can cook since those at home are the master chefs but it’s a skill that was passed on to me by Mama just by letting me hang around her kitchen when I was young.

As I age, I also congratulate myself on my small and huge wins. Growing up insecure with my looks and being an introvert, I used to judge myself quickly and my low self-esteem prevented me from taking advantage of various opportunities through the years. Confidence is something that is built over time although when I am in a new situation, stepping out of the comfort zone is hard. There was a time I was having trouble talking to one person over the phone when I moved abroad. After a discouraging moment, I just realized that I used to speak in front of a hundred people monthly for six years with a 20-slide presentation of my work updates. It was not bragging but assuring myself that I can handle it because I’ve been in a more complicated situation before. I also do not need accolades anymore. My goal is to simply work with enough resources to help, follow my creative pursuits and live near a small beach town with a dog.

I know my worth now and I feel less scared of the future. Aging is a gift because not many people get this chance to live an intentional one. This is a motivational post for me and you. God has our back and the pressure is off.